Last week, we followed a mother through a day as her capacity kept changing, with one thing added after another. If you missed that article, you can read it here. By the time she walked into her kitchen and saw that the dishwasher chore had not been completed, she had very little left. As I…
Last week, we discussed what shapes our capacity. If you missed it, you can read it here. This week, I want to share a story about what capacity can look like in real life. It illustrates what can happen to a person’s best intentions. A mother was at work one winter Friday. Forecasters predicted a…
On Wednesday, the reflection question was: How can we know what to do and still not do it? I have been sitting with that question since then. On the surface, knowing and doing seem to follow one another naturally. We learn. We understand. We practise. Eventually, we know better. And if we know better, it…
Last week, we explored the idea that capacity is the nervous system’s ability to access the physical, emotional, cognitive, and relational resources we already have. If you missed that article, you can read it here. This week, I thought we could revisit the story from Connection Before Correction. You might remember that the mother in…
Last week, we explored the small space between reaction and intention; you can read that here. It is that brief moment when we can pause, notice what is happening, and choose how we want to respond. After reflecting on that article, I was left with another question. Why does that space feel so different from…
Last week, we watched a mother reconnect with her child after a difficult moment. If you have not yet read it, you can read it here. Some people might have read that story and focused on what happened after the mom heard a small thud from down the hall. They might have noticed the apology,…
Connection before correction does not mean removing limits or ignoring behaviour. It means creating enough safety for a child’s nervous system to reconnect so that guidance, boundaries, and teaching can actually be received.
Behaviour often captures our attention before we have had time to understand it. The crying, the yelling, the refusal, the silence, the slammed door, the sharp tone, or the meltdown in the middle of the store are the parts we can see. They are visible behaviours that interrupt a moment, activate our own nervous systems,…
We tend to talk about behaviour as if it’s a choice. As if somewhere in the moment before the outburst, the meltdown, the shutdown, there was a clear decision being made. In reality, most behaviour starts long before any conscious choice is made. It starts in the body, the brain, and the nervous system. Your…
What if behaviour isn’t the whole story? At Complex Growth, we explore behaviour through the lenses of attachment, nervous system regulation, and human development, asking not “What’s wrong?” but “What might this behaviour be communicating?”
